I asked Amazon to show me weird tech gadgets. I still haven’t recovered

I asked Amazon to show me weird tech gadgets. I still haven’t recovered


There are times in one’s lifestyle when one’s mood expresses a specific require.

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I do not know whether or not it was the actuality that mercury experienced eventually stopped getting in retrograde — or whether the total moon experienced at last completed its worst — but I truly wanted to see one thing that would give my everyday living a new meaning.

Or, at the very least, anything that would make me reconsider the which means of technological innovation.

So I drifted to the repository of all factors product, Amazon, to see what it could give. 

Deliberately and specially, I searched for “strange tech gizmos.”

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This has been my marginal penchant of late, at any time since I began living with a robotic cat.

What could Amazon supply to conquer that? How, certainly, would Amazon’s extensive inner intelligence define “unusual”?

I was uplifted to see that there have been 2,000 final results. Evidently, I was about to descend into a vortex of outré splendor.

You simply call this unusual?

But then I opened my eyes. First on offer you was the, oh, xsainlao Newtons Kinetic Art Perpetual Movement Machine, Desktop Decoration Toys, Science Physics Gizmos, Non-Cease Rolling Ball Toys, Balance Pressure Reduction Innovative Items for Friends and Family members.



This wasn’t strange at all. This was the type of matter executives utilized to place on their desks. When they experienced desks. In the 1980s.

Effectively, I suppose some of the item description was odd. Sample: “All elements of this product are purely handmade, and you need to assemble them yourself when you acquire them again. Therefore, you need to have to have the foundation for making handmade products and solutions.”

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The basis? You mean arms?

Up coming on the weird Amazon success — or, fairly, the Amazon strange benefits — was the Novium Hoverpen 2. – Futuristic Luxurious Pen Made With Aerospace Alloys, One of a kind Aesthetic, Free of charge Spinning Govt Pen, Awesome Gizmos, Birthday Presents for Adult males & Girls (Space Black, Essential).

Which merely lifted two queries: What? And Why?

I observed that these particular effects had been sponsored. So these organizations had compensated to be in the research classification of “weird”?

Amazon chooses strange. I decide on to mutter to myself

I scrolled down a tiny more, asking yourself what Amazon itself would opt for to satiate my bizarre quest.

Fortunately, there was a result marked, “Amazon’s selection.”

I was not organized for this. Amazon proposed The Original Toilet Night time Light Tech Gadget. Entertaining Toilet Motion Sensor LED Lights. Unusual Novelty Humorous Birthday Gag Stocking Stuffer Gifts Strategies for Him Her Dude Gentlemen Boy Toddler Mother Papa Brother.

A toilet with a light inside it


Why on earth would I require this? And, may I talk to, how on earth is this unusual?

Amazon — or, relatively, the makers of this illuminating products — declare it’s going to boost your snooze. “ToiLight is a interesting led motion activated night time light-weight which activates routinely when you method the toilet bowl, illuminating it in a enjoyable way that soothes you.”

Do I will need a comforting night light-weight in the toilet? I do not. Is this unusual? It is not.

And would you feel that, if you buy one particular of these points, you get a cost-free book? “‘365 Insider secrets of Tidying Up Your Home’ is the excellent health supplement to your ToiLight simply because it will support your household search usually at its ideal,” claims the listing.

I worried that Amazon was looking its worst. I was commencing to eliminate hope in the pretty existence of real weirdness.

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Odd really like

Upcoming in Amazon’s tips arrived the Cryptex Da Vinci Code Mini Cryptex Lock Puzzle Boxes with Concealed Compartments Anniversary Valentine’s Day Passionate Birthday Presents for Her Presents for Girlfriend Box for Me.



Who writes these products descriptions? Why is this superior for an anniversary or Valentine’s present? Why does Amazon not recognize the concept of odd?

As soon as I examine a little far more about this lock puzzle box, I was geared up to concede it contained some oddness: “The Da Vinci Codec is copied from the Da Vinci manuscript in ‘The Da Vinci Code’. According to the plot of the story, there is a scroll about the finest mystery of the Priory of Sion and even the full [sic] Christianity hidden in the cryptex. To open the cryptex, you will have to unlock a 5-digit code. There are 5 turntables on the cipher cylinder, and each individual turntable has 26 letters, which may perhaps be as numerous as 11,881,376 permutations and combinations of cryptex.”

My consciousness commenced to waft away. What new hellfire was this?

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Then the makers of this matter solved the Valentine’s riddle. You may not think this.

Are you prepared?

Are you sure?

Here goes: “If you approach to suggest or give a Valentine’s Working day present, anniversary, anniversary present, and many others., then the cryptex is a excellent preference for you. Its unique password environment will incorporate romance, enjoyment and mystery to you. We will give you a pair The [sic] rings is to aid you recognize your desire.”

You get a cost-free pair of rings? Now that is strange.

I accept that a single person’s bizarre is one more person’s suitable congressperson. I fear, though, that all those searching for anything distinct in their lives should not choose Amazon as their to start with strategy supply.

Things could convert out a wholly distinct sort of unusual than they considered.

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